I’m not so sure, but I think all of us have told a lie once or twice in our lives. I have—just now—because it isn’t true that I’m not sure—I’m actually sure. I’m sure we all have told lies. And we do it because we think it saves us from trouble. And looking deeper, we even think it’s smart. We actually think we’ve outsmarted the guy we told a lie to.
Because we won’t do something we think is stupid—like telling the truth—when we’re cornered. Telling the truth means you didn’t even dare to use your creativeness, your wit (or the genius you think you are), to get out of a tight situation and just opted to be dumb and tell the truth. Just like that. Plain and banal. We like making things more adventurous, so we put some color and shades and tones. We lie.
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But really, I find telling a lie funny. And it’s even funnier when you know for a fact the guy’s lying but he thinks you don’t. So he does this little act (and playing the role so well) trying to fool everybody about something. It’s even more amusing when someone’s pretending to be what he isn’t.
It’s fascinating when a person tries to lie—what he’s willing to go through just to pull it off. Unique talent is brought out to effect superlative acting, profusely labored on but kept natural-looking to convince and fool people despite obvious culpability. You’d see it in the news—people guilty as hell of a crime (with all proofs and eye-witnesses pointing to them) and yet acting innocent (even appearing as the wronged party) and convincing rights groups to come to the rescue.
Some people are moved and touched by the histrionics and sympathize with them, but I find it all hilarious. Guys with arms and bodies riddled with tattoos and wearing gangland facial expressions, and yet they manage to assume a sheepish, timid look of innocence. And they get rights groups into believing their acts when fact is even grade school kids can see through their pretension.
I don’t know if they’re super talented or the rights groups are just stupid. But it’s amusing. They never fail to make me laugh. It’s like dressing up a burly, tough-looking, tattooed man with dress and people call him mom. Or the fox dressing up like grandma and Goldilocks easily falls for it. She should’ve been called Gullible Goldilocks. Anyway, all Clark Kent has to do is wear glasses and curl up his bangs a bit and people won’t recognize him anymore as Superman.
I don’t recall seeing caught criminals admitting their guilt on TV. They all claim innocence even if victims positively (and angrily) identify them. And corrupt politicians are not far behind. They steal our money and then face news cams like they’re the most forthright individuals on earth. A lot of them even have the guts to “investigate” anomalies in government.
Most people get angry watching liars on TV. Some curse and allow these guys to ruin their day. Not me. I laugh. Well, I feel hot with anger when it’s a rapist acting hard to look innocent (and I pity the victims so much), but then I laugh once the rights groups appear as the rapists’ knights in shining armor. I remember watching a Popeye episode where Brutus tries to look good after kidnapping Olive Oil, and the Sea Hag backs his claims. Popeye would have rot in prison if not for canned spinach hidden somewhere in his shirt.
Smart—that’s what we think of lying. It’s why people would rather lie than admit guilt or tell the truth. They want to be cute and smart, outwitting folks they have wronged. At this point, while typing this, I remember some church pastors who lied to US consuls just to get visas or who extended their stay in the US illegally—to see what God wants them to do there. Yup, they can lie to God like that and still “look” straight at him when asking for guidance.
Question is, can we make lying look stupid? Some folks tried. The bible tried. In fact, who among us doesn’t know that lying is stupid? We’ve all been taught that since kindergarten. But since the day we learned how important our faces are—so that we do things “to save face”—we have since opted to lie than tell the truth. Preserving self-image makes us lie because we want to keep a self-image that looks smart. Thus, we lie because it’s smart.
Can we be truthful and look smart at the same time? Well, believe it or not, truth is designed to make us not just look smart, but be really smart. However, few get this revelation so that more Christians get uncomfy with sharing truth with other people. They don’t see it as something smart but something religious—and anything religious is not exactly their idea of smartness. Religion is dull so they hate a religious self-image.
Well, in a way I can’t blame them. Sometime in the past, there were liars who shared the Gospel truth and gave it a religious stigma. Pretended life and truth do not mix even if you dress or cover it up with the smartest self-images. And there’s the principle—pretended life plus truth equals a big lie, and a really funny one at that. One which reminds you of Popeye, Brutus and the Sea Hag.
CS GAERLAN 